SEVEN LESSONS FROM 2017

2017 was an amazing year to say the least. I'm not even sure where to begin. I started off the year in Paris, France, a city I had dreamed about living in since I was 10 years old, traveled across Western Europe, visited family I had not seen in ages, met the best people from all over the globe, and unexpectedly met a boy who changed my life completely. Fast-forward 6 months where I spent an amazing summer interning at HomeAway, Inc. where I learned so much from an amazing team of vibrant, confident women, and met some of the most fun, hilarious people I am happy to call my friends today. I finished off the year seeing some of my closest friends graduate university, and went home to spend one last winter break with my family before I, too, walk the stage for my diploma...finally.

While I have chosen to stop making resolutions for new years (as time is a mere construct we have created to govern our lives when in reality we are free to make improvements at any time we choose), I have changed my perspective instead towards reflecting on the past 12 months and saturating myself completely in the memories, lessons, and blessing that 2017 brought forth. So, in order to preserve them, I have laid out a few here in case someone else might find them applicable to their own experiences too. Enjoy :)

1. Another individual's success is not your failure.

Let me say that again. Someone else's strengths and accomplishments are not your weaknesses. As I near the end of my undergraduate days, I find myself questioning so many things, and one of those, unfortunately, is my place in society. I am a millennial who is incessantly bombarded by media fabrications, perfected LinkedIn profiles, flawless resumés with endless honors and accomplishments, and daily, heavily edited reminders of people's seemingly effortless social lives on Instagram.

Much of what we see online are merely the highlights. The best of the best. I cannot stress enough how important it is not to confuse what we see on the internet with reality. The truth is that we each have our own unique strengths, talents, and gifts that we should hold out high and proud for the world to see. For example, I am the absolute furthest someone can get from being a financial analyst, but ask me to design or draw you anything, and I think I can do a heck of a good job. Your friends' job offers do not mean you will never receive one. Your fellow classmate's A does not make you a failure. Your peer's apparent ability to ease through life while being involved in 10 different student organizations does not mean you must do the same to be successful or measure up. Look yourself in the mirror and seek out your strengths. Different does not mean better or worse, so stop comparing. Keep doing what motivates you, continue to be your true self, and never stop giving it your best. You will meet the company, friends, and place that is meant just for you at the time it is meant to happen.

2. Stop worrying so damn much.

Perhaps one of the greatest blessings that came from my study abroad trip was my ability to stop fretting about decisions and work even after it has already been done. Perhaps it was the Parisian air or the French joie de vivre...or simply the fact that I was surrounded by beauty everywhere I looked, who knows?

Even though my natural instinct is to want to be in control of everything that can possibly be controlled, that is just not possible or realistic. Worrying about circumstances out of your control does nothing for your mind and spirit. You've done what you need to do, so sit back and enjoy the ride. Now, the timeline may not be exactly what you want, but everything will fall into place as it is intended for your life. Since I have begun to let events play out after putting in the necessary work, I have found immense peace. So, don't create unnecessary stress for yourself.

Now, this doesn't mean I am encouraging you to run with the wind with rebellious nonchalance. No. Be proactive! Take care of deadlines as soon as you know their due dates. Take care of errands as quickly as is necessary, and stop putting off doing that thing you have known you have needed to do for the past few months. Be confident in your abilities, and don't ever doubt your potential.

3. Know yourself.

We all have times in our lives when we have done things we aren't proud of. I have hurt people in my life I never intended to hurt, yet it happened. I found that this has almost always stemmed from over promising and rushing too quickly into decisions before stopping to be honest with myself. Be realistic before you make a decision. Don't set yourself up for failure by saying yes to everything people throw at you. It's okay to not be able to please everyone because it's impossible to make everyone happy.

With this understanding comes the importance of knowing yourself. 2017 was the year that I finally embraced the qualities in myself I used to try so hard to change. I now accept that I need isolation more often than I need to be around others in order to fully reenergize. No, it does not mean I hate people and being social at all times; it simply means I value moments of solitude more than others might. I accept that I am a creative mind, and will no longer suppress what comes most naturally to me in order to fit the mold of what the world considers a "successful" business woman. I accept that I have strong opinions, and will speak up in a situation I am not completely happy in. Sit down and have a dialogue of honesty with yourself, and you will probably find more courage and strength within your decisions going forward. I know that I have.

4. Surround yourself with supportive, positive, authentic friends, and BE one yourself.

During a period when so much has been and will continue to change as I transition to a post-grad life, I want to say thank you to the friends who have reached out to me even when I was a hermit at home curled up on the couch with a glass of wine. Or when I didn't have to self-confidence to get out and be seen by the world. Or when I cancelled plans when being social felt like the most gut-wrenching idea in the world. It happens to the best of us.

I am so grateful for the people in my life who not only understand me, but who also WANT to understand me enough to stick with me. Friends are not convenient. Friends are not always going to say what you want to hear. The people who care about you the most will say the harsh things. The people who truly love you will not judge you before hearing your version of an argument before rushing to conclusions, and will respect your opinion no matter how polar it may be to your own. Authentic friendship is not based on a trade system of benefits. Authenticity is listening to the person sitting in front of you, and not simply because you feel like you owe it to them. People are not a list of priorities to pencil into a calendar when we are least "busy." We are more than snapchat stories, lunch dates, and Facebook memes.

2017 taught me that in order to expect certain aspects of authenticity in a friendship or relationship, I have to embody those qualities myself. You give what you get, reap what you sow, attract what you send out to the world. So, perhaps the reason I felt this was of such relevance in my life was because I have so much room for improvement in my relationships. And for that realization I am grateful. So, here's to embodying the friends I am striving to make and keep, and to walking away from the ones who are "too busy" to value me as a friend in return.

5. Put down the phone, close the laptop, take out your headphones.

If you are like me, you have seen Black Mirror, and are now terrified of the potentials of technology, if abused. Don't get me wrong--technology is a wonderful thing. Your phone is a magnificent device to help make certain tasks in life easier. Yet it is not your whole life.

This realization all started in Paris (as apparently most things these days seem to happen for me). I had never before seen so many adults and youth alike taking the time to read instead of sticking their nose in a digital device until I lived in Paris. All across the city I saw people young and old sitting on the metro or in the parks or in their own courtyards simply enjoying a good book, and it really inspired me. I used to read so much as a child, and the moment it stopped was the day I got an iPhone.

It's all about moderation and balance. I have started out by carrying a book with me, and reaching for it instead of my phone during my free time. The next obstacle I hope to tackle is removing my phone from my face before nodding off to sleep. It's a hard one, but I am determined to do it, and I'm sure you can too.

6. "Take time to walk."

Someone very special to me once told me these exact words as I was walking briskly along the sidewalk for no reason in particular, and it caught me off guard in the simplest of ways. Why was I walking so fast? To go where? My apartment? To a restaurant where I would sit and continue the pace by devouring a meal without stopping to really enjoy it? Change is the only constancy in life, and without stopping ourselves to enjoy the process involved in any endeavor, life is going to pass us by.

The process is just as, if not more, important than the end goal. Looking back at my journey in receiving my bachelors degree in marketing, I am not going to value the literal diploma in my hand nearly as much as the journey that brought me to earn it in the first place. The late nights, the weekends with friends, the trials, the adventures...it's what I will cherish most. So, stop being impatient. Today is all you have, so be grateful for it. Enjoy the process and stop asking why. You'll drive yourself mad otherwise.

7. There isn't a person you wouldn't love if you understood their story.

Living abroad for a semester can change everything about how you view the world, yet I know that the opportunity I had is not one available to everyone. To those who have yet to travel outside their own country, I urge you to please try as soon as you can. There is SO much more out there that will help you to be more empathetic, understanding, and knowledgable about why people's opinions may differ from your own. Perhaps it's just my opinion, but narrow-mindedness is the most unappealing quality a person can have. Just because your circumstances allow you to view the world through a specific lens doesn't mean it's better than someone else's. The more people you meet, and the more you sit down to have raw, open conversations, the more you will understand about not only others, but also about yourself.

On that note, 2017 is going to be real hard to live up to. But I am looking forward to 2018, the people whose stories will continue to change me, the continued travel I hope to embark on, and the new lessons that it will bring.